I Need to End the Revolving Door and Sustain a Good Relationship

By Dr. Robert Wallace

July 24, 2026 6 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's enjoying her summer before her senior year in high school. Everything has gone well for me and my education so far during high school ... except for one thing. I've literally been in and out of nearly a dozen relationships dating back to my middle school days. It seems every time I meet a new guy, things go well for the first three to six weeks, but soon enough, I see flaws and shortcomings in each guy, and at some point I just can't take it anymore, so I break things off.

I'm thinking of setting a goal for my senior year of taking my time and finding a really good guy who meshes well with me rather than just starting a relationship with someone who seems to get off to a good start after the first two or three dates. I fear that before I know it, I'll be off to college and could end up there without any meaningful relationships in place in my romantic life.

What can I do to either ensure or come as close as possible to ensuring that I meet the right guy this time around? — I Want to Sustain a Good Relationship, via email

I WANT TO SUSTAIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP: I'll at least give you high marks for taking a look at your past and deciding you want to do better going forward. My advice is to take the first three or four dates with someone new very slowly and get to know the person on as many levels as possible.

People tend to make mistakes in their dating lives because they're attracted to just one feature, perhaps superficial looks or a style that seems attractive at first. The key is to realize that each individual is multidimensional, and it's unrealistic to think that you will get a perfect match across the top five to eight major categories of each person's personality, physical and emotional makeup.

For example, you might decide you really value reliability and loyalty. You might decide you highly value spontaneity and a sense of humor. Or it could be a person who is truly compassionate and thoughtful. Or of course someone with features that you find highly attractive — but remember, that needs to be coupled with another couple of important things too. Whatever it is, decide what you feel are the top two or, at most, three items that you truly want to have present in a good partner.

Then, as you date new people, especially the first handful of dates, force yourself to focus on those two or three features that you find the most important to you. If you realize they aren't present, or that only one feature seems to meet your standards, you must be disciplined enough to move on at that point and not extend a relationship that likely won't end well anyhow.

It's good that you have so much previous dating experience, but now that you're getting closer to adulthood, it's time to think carefully about what you value in relationships, seek to find that first, then nurture the relationship along to the best of your ability. If you can do this, I feel your chances at success will be greatly elevated.

WOULD IT MAKE SENSE TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE RIGHT NOW?

DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend and I are college students. We met back in high school and have been together for nearly four years. We've talked about ultimately getting married when the time is right, but we have a lot going on at the moment, so we haven't made any wedding plans at this point.

I got involved almost a year ago with an experimental business idea that I just wanted to test out briefly to get myself some feedback and small business experience. To my utter amazement, somewhere during the fourth month, my idea took off and provided me a steady revenue stream that has been gradually growing as I've had time to nurture the overall game plan.

My girlfriend helps me a little bit part time, and I'm seriously thinking now of dropping out of college to work full time on my project. My girlfriend plans to continue with her education as a full-time student so that if something goes wrong with my idea, we will at least have one college degree between us within two years.

Do you think it's a huge mistake to drop out of college to put more time into an idea that has already proven to be lucrative thus far? I can already pay all our bills, our rent and her tuition, and still grow our savings account. — Thinking of Making a Big Change, via email

THINKING OF MAKING A BIG CHANGE: Congratulations that your experimental idea turned out so well for you, at least up through this point. I see no reason why you shouldn't put more of your time and effort into this business now, given your present situation and the results you are achieving.

However, instead of stopping all your college education entirely, why not continue it very slowly at this point by taking one evening class during the upcoming semester? Such a sparse course load will still allow you plenty of time during the day to work on your growing business. And if anything should go wrong, or should your idea no longer prove to be as lucrative, you'll still be in the routine of attending college classes and can slowly move forward and ramp back up in that regard.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Mayur Gala at Unsplash

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