Dear Annie: I'm a recent college grad, and I've always wanted to be a writer like you. I've applied to more jobs than I can count at newspapers and magazines but haven't landed a single offer. Everyone keeps saying "the job market is tough right now," but knowing that doesn't pay rent. I still live with my parents, and I'm dying to get my own place. I don't want to give up on writing, but it's been six months with no offer, and I need to start making some money. What do I do? — Unpublished

Dear Unpublished: Writing skills aren't limited to bylines — marketing, PR and corporate communications all need people who can put a sentence together well and on deadline. Expand your job search, take one of those jobs and get your own apartment. Keep writing on the side. Post it online, pitch it around and build a portfolio. You never know where that might take you.

Dear Annie: My daughter is dating a man who's an alcoholic and drug addict. Over the past three years, the police have been called multiple times because he's abused her. She has two children, 8 and 15, who live with her.

I've tried to talk some sense into her, but she always defends him and even interferes with his arrests. Thankfully, the court stepped in, and he was sentenced to six months in jail for the abuse.

Now my daughter wants nothing to do with me and won't let me see my grandchildren. When I call, she says they don't want to talk to me and tells me to leave them alone. I feel like she's using the children as weapons against me.

She lived with me for 40 years, and I've never seen her act this way. Her boyfriend was once married to a friend of mine, and he tried to isolate my friend's daughter from her family and friends, too.

I don't know how to get through to my daughter that she needs to stay away from him. She used to be such a good person, and now it's as though she's become someone I don't recognize. It's eating me alive that my grandchildren are no longer part of my life. I don't know what to do. Please help. — Heartbroken Grandmother

Dear Heartbroken Grandmother: Everything you've described is consistent with a toxic and abusive relationship. One of the first things abusers often do is isolate their partners from the people who might help them leave. Your daughter may not have become this cold and unemotional person. She may simply be in survival mode.

As heartbreaking as it is, you can't force your daughter to end this relationship, no matter how much you love her. What you can do is leave the door open. Keep your messages to her calm, loving and free of criticism about her boyfriend. Just remind her you'll be there for her and the kids if and when she's ready.

If you believe your grandchildren are in immediate danger, contact child protective services or law enforcement. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do isn't to "talk sense" into someone, but to make sure they know they'll have a safe place to land if they decide to leave.

"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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