Dear Annie: My husband recently bought an old classic car, the kind he has dreamed about since he was 17. He made the purchase after seeing one roaring down Main Street with the top down. It is shiny, loud, impractical and, according to him, "an investment." According to me, it is a very expensive midlife crisis with chrome bumpers.

He found it online after months of searching and drove three hours to see it "just to look." Naturally, he came home with a bill of sale, a grin on his face and a car that now sits in our garage under a special cover like it is the crown jewels. Since then, our weekends have been taken over by polishing, tuning, ordering parts and going to car shows where he discusses original paint colors with men who all seem to be wearing the same baseball cap.

I want to be supportive. He works hard, and I know this car makes him feel young and happy. But the repair bills keep adding up, the garage is no longer usable, and we cannot drive it in the rain, park it near other cars or take it more than 20 minutes away without him saying, "Do you hear that?"

I am starting to feel like this car has become the third person in our marriage. Every conversation turns into whether the engine sounds right, whether the upholstery is authentic or whether "we" should invest in another part.

How do I tell him I am glad he has found something he loves, but I do not want our savings, weekends and marriage wrapped around a steering wheel? — Running on Empty

Dear Running on Empty: A hobby can be healthy, but only if it does not drive over the marriage. Your husband works hard and deserves to treat himself to something that brings him real joy, especially a dream he has carried since he was young. Still, the car needs a budget, a schedule and its own lane.

Agree on how much money and weekend time can reasonably go toward it, then protect the rest for your shared life. A classic car may appreciate in value, but a neglected spouse never does.

Dear Annie: My mother is 88 and has always been fiercely independent. She still drives, volunteers at church and insists she is "perfectly fine." The problem is that she refuses to take the medication her doctor prescribed for her blood pressure and heart condition. She says it makes her feel "old," and sometimes she hides the pills or claims she already took them when I know she has not.

My siblings and I are worried sick, but every conversation turns into an argument. She says we are treating her like a child. I don't want to control her, but I also don't want to stand by while she risks a stroke or heart attack. How do we help without turning every visit into a battle? — Scared Daughter

Dear Scared: Your mother may be rejecting the pills because they feel like a loss of control, not because she doesn't understand the risk.

Stop arguing and start partnering. Ask her doctor if there are side effects, simpler doses or alternative medications. Then tell your mother, "We respect your independence. We also love you too much to ignore this." Offer practical help, but let the doctor be the authority. Love can remind, but it cannot wrestle a pill bottle into wisdom.

"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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