When I was a kid, we had a Siberian husky named Sasha. My dad decided on a Siberian husky because he wanted a dog that had blue eyes like he did.

Not that he's shallow or anything.

Sasha was a chewer. He wasn't just a dog toy chewer or bone chewer. Sasha was an indiscriminate chewer and was so good at chewing that he could have competed professionally in a national chew competition. He chewed the leg off the kitchen table, chewed up the seats on the five kitchen chairs, chewed up a chunk of the linoleum kitchen floor, and chewed the arm off the living room sofa, a third of an oriental rug, and an entire rattan bookcase. He chewed the seat off the downstairs toilet and, finally, knocked the bathroom door down, split it in half and chewed that too.

Needless to say, Sasha did not stick around too long.

Before we got Sasha, we had a golden retriever named Honey. Honey was not a chewer. Honey was a licker. Big difference. With a chewer, your things get destroyed. With a licker, your things stay intact but get so covered with drool that you don't want to touch them without donning a hazmat suit.

When I grew up and had my own family, we got a retriever named Riley. Riley was also a chewer. In his lifetime, he chewed up several stuffed animals, an Ugg boot, a ball of knitting yarn, and an astonishing assortment of our family's underwear. Riley, however, didn't hold a candle to our real chewer: our pet chinchilla, Henry. Henry chewed his way through a lamp cord, a clock cord, a backpack and a plastic folder with the homework inside, all from within his cage. Try telling your teacher your chinchilla ate your homework and see what response you get.

Now we have another golden retriever named Bowie. Bowie is a licker. Bowie will come over to you and, by way of a greeting, lick your hand, your pants, your shoe or really anything else he can get his tongue on. Sometimes he will pass through a doorway and lick that for good measure. His favorite licking spot, though, is the glass backdoor. Nothing says "I keep a clean house" like a display of dog tongue streaks all over your glass door.

I guess I should be grateful that Bowie is not a chewer. I've heard of dogs that have chewed and ingested shoes, toys, cellphones and even an Xbox controller. In the case of the cellphone, rumor has it that the phone actually went down in one piece, and the owner realized what had happened to it when it started to ring.

Fortunately, the dog was OK and, shockingly, the phone still worked.

But I'm not sure I would want that particular phone back.

Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, "Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble," available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com.

Photo credit: Wesley Sanchez at Unsplash