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When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested
Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some …Read more.
When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't
Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's …Read more.
Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky
Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee …Read more.
Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy.
Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot …Read more.
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Married, Pregnant and MiserableDear Margo: I am 35 years old, married for two years. Surprisingly, I have a 17-month-old daughter and am four months pregnant — despite the fact that my husband does not want to have sex with me. (Only four times in two years. We have been very lucky!) He is emotionally distant, not affectionate, always stressed and angry that I am not a better housewife, even though I do try my best to be a good mother and wife. I was able to cope OK for the first two years, but now that I am pregnant again, I am extremely depressed about our relationship. When I try to express my feelings and needs to him, he accuses me of playing games to manipulate him and becomes verbally abusive if I press the issue. He seems to love his daughter, but has reacted negatively about the expected baby — even though he was the one who suggested getting pregnant! If it were not for the children, I would leave him instantly. How do I reach this man and transform my marriage? I am a child of divorce and hate the idea of putting my children through the same ordeal. I know I could not bear a separation or divorce during my pregnancy or while trying to care for a newborn and a toddler, but my days of misery with my husband are really starting to take a heavy toll on me and, in turn, on our daughter. My greatest wish is for our children to have a normal, stable home life in which they can thrive. — Teary in Arkansas Dear Tear: I agree that you should do nothing until the new baby arrives and you are comfortable in the routine of caring for two little ones. While recognizing (and sympathizing) with your wish to provide a stable home life, I am doubtful this is possible with a man who has mandated sex as a twice-a-year procedural; is emotionally distant, stressed and angry; complains; and is totally uninterested in how you feel about anything. Culture Clash Dear Margo: What do you think of this situation? My friend, a 40-year-old divorced father of two, thought he had fallen in love with a 37-year-old virgin of the Muslim faith. (She and her family live in the U.S. My friend is not Muslim.) In a year of being engaged, they have never kissed or touched. He now feels this is a mistake and has tried twice to break off the engagement, but her family has told him, "Once you commit to marriage with a Muslim woman, you cannot back out." Needless to say, this is a serious dilemma. My friend confided this to me and I am concerned. What would you tell him if you were me? — Fearful Dear Fear: I do not find this such a serious dilemma because the woman's Muslim family lives in this country and their religious rules and customs apply only to them. Neither the United States nor any religion practiced here forbids the breaking of an engagement, just as we do not stone adulterers or have honor killings. I'd advise your friend man up, call it a day and suggest this woman would be happier with someone of her own faith. If the family becomes threatening, he has recourse to a restraining order or the Department of Immigration. — Margo, factually *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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