Dear Annie: I work for a family company and am grateful to have a job in this economy. But while we employees have had benefits drastically cut, the owners have bought new luxury homes and cars and just returned from an overseas vacation that included a safari.
I am a loyal employee, but it seems we are the only ones making sacrifices for the good of the company. Morale is low, and I can no longer be the cheerleader I once was.
I want my employer to know that, despite how they have treated us, I will continue to do my best, but there are other employees who don't feel this way. How can we get the boss to take a closer look at the message he is sending before everyone walks out? I still love this company and want it to succeed. — Unappreciated
Dear Unappreciated: The problem is, your boss knows that no matter how he treats his employees, it will be difficult for them to find another job in this economy. He takes advantage of the fact that, despite the grumbling, they are not likely to leave. This is a terrible way to treat the people who work for you.
Since you care about the health of the company, appoint yourself the spokesperson for the staff and see if you can get a few people together to speak to the boss privately. (There is safety in numbers.) Tell him he deserves to enjoy the fruits of his labor, but you've noticed it lowers morale when he appears to be flaunting his wealth at the expense of his struggling employees. Say that you want his company to be successful and a great place to work, and consequently, you worry when your fellow employees don't feel valued and appreciated. Then ask how you can help.
Dear Annie: I have been friends for more than 30 years with a gentleman who now lives in a nursing home. He is hale and hearty with an alert and active mind, and I enjoy our twice-monthly visits. However, although he wears hearing aids, the only way to effectively communicate is to speak quite loudly.
While I have no problem doing so when we are alone, it can obviously be disturbing to other visitors.
In addition, we occasionally go to museums, restaurants and historical sites, and find ourselves facing the choice of disturbing those seated near us or remaining silent, which, of course, negates the purpose of getting together.
What is the proper way to act in situations like this? Should I continue to speak loudly even though it annoys others, or would it be better to diminish our mutual enjoyment by keeping conversation to a minimum? — Want To Do What's Right
Dear Want: It is OK to raise your voice, but it also helps to avoid places where there is a great deal of ambient noise. Busy restaurants with loud music would create more difficulty hearing than a quiet meal in someone's house. We wouldn't worry too much about the common areas of a nursing home where visitors understand hearing problems. Otherwise, keep your conversation to a minimum when you are in an enclosed public space, and when you want to talk, consider taking a walk or visiting in your home. Also be sure to look directly at your friend when you are speaking. Most people do more lip-reading than you might imagine.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Unsure Daughter," whose estranged father is dying and she doesn't know if she should see him. I, too, came from the Bad Dads Club and was faced with a similar situation. I decided to leave the past in the past and start over.
Thirteen years later, I have no regrets. I spent my father's final months getting to know him and expressing my feelings. This is an opportunity most people don't get, so I advise anyone in this situation to take the opportunity to say what you need to. — Canada
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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7 Comments | Post Comment
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LW1: If you follow the ladies' advice, you're going to find yourself out of a job, along with anyone else who falls in behind you. What do they think that confronting the bosses is going to accomplish? "Oh, we're sorry we bought those houses. You're right. We should have given you guys all the money instead or bought insurance for you." Uhm, no. Besides, it's as likely as not that the owners will get wind of this "organization" before the meeting even takes place, and might even strike pre-emptively by firing anyone seen as a troublemaker. They as much as admitted that jobs are hard to come by right now, which means you can be replaced fairly easily by someone who isn't apt to complain. Most owner-employers don't appreciate being told to run their business, especially unsolicited advice from employees. That goes double for what happens with the profits. The columnists were dead-on when they said that the owners have the right to enjoy the fruits of their labors; they should have stopped there. On top of it being the owners' prerogative to do as they wish with the profits, there could be more going on that the LW doesn't even know about. Maybe it was their first vacation in 20 years; a lot of business-owners don't get away much. If you don't like the way you're being treated, either look for another job or tough it out. I know it's tough to get by without health insurance, but nobody has a right to benefits or anything else, unless explicitly guaranteed by state and federal labor laws. As long as those are being followed, one's only recourse is to vote with his feet. The long and short of it is that an employee in this economy is in no position to make demands.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Matt
Thu Oct 8, 2009 1:54 AM
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Canada wrote, "I have no regrets. I spent my [bad dad] father's final months getting to know him and expressing my feelings."
When I learned that my 85-year-old father was dying of cancer, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and felt inexpressible joy. He will never molest another child! I had been happily free of him for 40 years.
I still feel cheerful on each anniversary of his death, near Thanksgiving of 2000. To visit him would have been to confront him, which would have been a terrible thing to do to a dying person--and to myself. (I had chosen not to confront him earlier, since I wanted NO connection between us for the sake of my children and grandchildern.)
Comment: #2
Posted by: Dr Grammy
Thu Oct 8, 2009 2:07 AM
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This is in response to "Want to Do What's Right" who is friends with an older gentleman who wears hearing aids and yet cannot hear unless things are still very loud. I have worn hearing aids nearly all my life and have two children who wear them. It sounds as if this gentleman needs to visit his audiologist. He may need his hearing aids reprogrammed or he may need new ones altogether. Perhaps "Want" could offer to take him during their next visit together.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Margaret
Thu Oct 8, 2009 5:11 AM
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LW1 - I was going to say what Matt said, but he already did, so... LW1, start looking for a new job. Tough economy or not, if you sit on your pratt, no job is coming to find you, that's for sure. If you find a new position and get hired, then you can voice your reasons for leaving (diplomatically!) to your current boss. In the meantime, unless your bosses are Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus, they are not legally obligated to curb their profits. It may be morally wrong to splurge on new luxuries and vacations while cutting employee benefits, but there is no law against it.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Ariana
Thu Oct 8, 2009 8:21 AM
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If the older gentleman's hearing aids are doing all they can do, perhaps they could learn sign language. It'd be a fun class they could take together, and if his hearing continues to deteriorate, it'd only be a benefit. It'd probably depend on how aware of his hearing issues are and whether he's in denial - he might be insulted, or he might find it entertaining.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Sarah
Thu Oct 8, 2009 10:00 AM
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Regarding "Unappreciated", this employee may want to think of a different stratagy to get the employer to raise moral. Do some research about how happy employees make more money for the company. If you make your employees happy, productivity increases, fewer sick days are recorded, and many fewer errors are made.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Kelly
Thu Oct 8, 2009 10:22 AM
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Dear Unappreciated:
I appreciate the politeness and professionalism with which you addressed your feelings of being unappreciated. I also appreciated the answer that was given by Kathy & Marcy. As the owner of a small business (25 employees) for the last 17 years, I can tell you that owning a business comes with a great amount of "unappreciation" for the sacrifices that most owners make in order to start, run and maintain their venture. For the first 12 years that I was in business, I made less money than most of my friends who worked for someone else, made the same or less money than my top employees, and during a few bad years, didn't make any money at all because I had to personally absorb company losses. Furthermore, many of my employees owned a home nicer than mine, vacationed more than me and worked substantially less hours. During this time, I plowed everything (both time and money) back into the business so that the company would succeed and my customers and employees would be happy. Keep in mind that in this competitive world, employees and customers alike are always shopping for a better company with which to do business. I felt this pressure every day of the year and was mentally "on-duty" 24/7. If my company failed, personal bankruptcy was not far behind because I had personally signed for most of the company debt. During this time, I set up a retirement plan for me and my employees through a Simple IRA. I diligently maxed my contributions to this account, bought life insurance to protect the family and business and managed to save a few bucks for the future.
Not much has changed. I still work long hours and have great risk for which I am ultimately responsible. I live in the same house that I bought when I started the company and just recently remodeled using equity that I had in the home as well as a loan against my life insurance cash value. I also bought a new car for my wife because hers was 9 years old and we were able to get a good deal due to the hard times. I can assure you that many of my employees were upset that during these tough times, I would lay off, cut expenses at the business, remodel my home and buy a new car. While I understand their feelings, I can tell you that all of this was able to happen because of the sacrifice that has been made over the last 17 years. I am sure that there is more sacrifice to come, and when my ship finally does come in, be it next year or in 10 years, good times or bad, I plan to reward myself and my family. When this happens, I am sure that I will be judged by people who do not know or understand what it took to get to that point.
My story cannot be unique. I figure that there are hundreds of thousands of business owners who have experienced the same thing that I have. Some will have greater success and others less.
While I don't know all of the details of your situation, I hope that I have given you a glimpse into the life of the person/family that owns the business that you work for.
Sean Smith
President
Efficient Systems, Inc.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Sean
Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:53 PM
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