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When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested
Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some …Read more.
When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't
Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's …Read more.
Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky
Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee …Read more.
Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy.
Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot …Read more.
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My Husband's Father and "Grandma"Dear Margo: My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl who is the first grandchild. Sadly, my husband's mother, "Rose," passed away several years ago, so our daughter will only know Grandma Rose from pictures and stories. "Frank," my father-in-law, told us only months after "Rose's" funeral (and a 30-plus-year marriage) that he wanted our blessing to marry his old girlfriend, "Betty." Needless to say we were shocked. The situation deteriorated, and we didn't have any contact with Frank for nearly four years. When we found out I was pregnant, my husband and I decided to make an effort to include Frank in our life again, for the sake of our daughter. We visited Frank (and Betty) while I was pregnant and brought our daughter to see them several times. They live about 90 miles from us. Frank started calling Betty "Grandma," which we ignored at first. We want our daughter to refer to her as "Betty," not Grandma, Nanna or any other special name. Both my husband and I referred to our stepgrandparents by first name. For several months, we've simply been calling them "Grandpa Frank and Betty" when addressing them verbally or via mail. Frank has stopped acknowledging the baby pictures we send to "Grandpa Frank and Betty." Please advise. — Irked Dear Irk: You are sticking it to Gramps with your insistence on using his second wife's first name. I think you are making a mistake. First names for stepparents or stepgrandparents are appropriate when the child knew the "original." Your daughter has never known Rose, so there is no reason for her not to consider Betty her Nanna. Your making a big deal about this is punitive, and I suspect the reason is that you are still unhappy that Frank remarried so soon after losing his wife. Calling Out the Gullible and the Misinformed Dear Margo: I have wronged one of my favorite cousins. Much worse, I embarrassed her in front of her friend, for which I am sorry. I should have handled it better. I immediately wished that I had spoken with my cousin and left her friend out of it. Here's what the cousin told me with her friend present. I asked her to repeat it, thinking my ears had deceived me. Prepare to be shocked! She said: "On page 425 of Obama's health care bill, the federal government will require everyone who is on Social Security to undergo a counseling session every five years with the objective being that they will explain how to end their own lives. Yes, they are going to push suicide to cut Medicare spending!" I let her have it. Forgetting one's politics, should a thoughtful person spread disinformation that clearly sounds nuts? She was very hurt that I would attack her this way. I continue to beg for her forgiveness. What do you think? — Missing My Cuz Dear Miss: Don't beat yourself up. Claptrap, especially of the political variety, is likely to get a rise out of most people. This nonsense about bumping off the elderly population is on a par with the belief that the CIA blew up the Twin Towers — from the inside. One would hope that your cousin would forgive your outburst, politics being a famously volatile subject. Perhaps to help things along, go online to find the administration's response to this lunacy. If your cousin cuts you off for being correct, well, her bad. — Margo, resolutely *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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