Straightening Out a Self-Absorbed Friend Dear Annie: I have had a best friend for nearly 20 years. However, in the past six or seven years, "Gloria" has become very self-absorbed and selfish. She refuses to show any reciprocity for favors or kindnesses. She seems to have time only for …Read more. The Season of Thanksgiving Dear Readers: Today is Thanksgiving. If you know someone who is alone today, please invite him or her to share your Thanksgiving dinner and help make the occasion truly special. Today we'd like to run a piece that has appeared in this space several …Read more. Distance from Grown Kids Doesn't Have To Be a Deal-Breaker Dear Annie: My boyfriend, "Darrin," and I have been seeing each other for five years. I love him and feel loved by him. He is affectionate and a great listener. I have grown children who are free to pop in and out of my house whenever they please. …Read more. Understanding Asperger's Dear Annie: In my circle of friends, there is a 23-year-old man with Asperger syndrome who drives me crazy. This guy has zero understanding of boundaries. He'll argue, interrupt conversations and answer back to everyone, and he lectures incessantly. …Read more.more articles
Annie's Mailbox®, February 28
Dear Annie: I have been married for two years. The problem is my daughter. "Melanie" was diagnosed as bipolar when she was 12. She has wild mood swings, and we've had to call the police on her more than 20 times. She has been convicted of domestic violence twice and has been hospitalized to try to deal with her disease.
Melanie will be turning 18 soon, and my husband has given me an ultimatum — kick her out or we will be divorcing. I would do this if Mel had someplace to go, but she doesn't, and I can't throw my child out in the street. My husband has no children and doesn't understand why it is so hard for me.
Mel's tantrums are geared mostly toward me. She barely speaks to my husband. I can ignore her outbursts because they will pass, but my husband cannot. Mel sees a psychiatrist on a regular basis, and we have changed her medication a thousand times. I know we will eventually find a combination that works.
We have been to family and marriage counseling, but my husband refuses to budge. I don't want to have to choose between my child and my marriage. Both the counselor and I have tried to explain what it means to be bipolar, but my husband doesn't believe it's a true illness. He thinks she can just change her behavior if she wants to. What can I do? — At My Wits' End
Dear Wits' End: It's a shame your husband doesn't have a better understanding of this debilitating illness, but we know your situation has been exhausting to deal with, and he undoubtedly wants the problem to go away.
Melanie is going to be an adult and must eventually learn to be independent. Talk to her psychiatrist about the possibility of helping her find her own apartment. If you don't think she can handle a roommate, consider subsidizing her housing arrangements.
Dear Annie: Is it necessary for a man to remove his hat at the dinner table if it's a baseball cap? — Pat
Dear Pat: Yes. The only exceptions are illness and religious reasons. In nicer establishments and at home, there is no other excuse to keep a hat on. But we are not holding our breath waiting for a man in a fast-food place to remove a baseball cap, charming as that would be.
Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from "Just Wondering in Southern California," whose sister-in-law is obsessed with bleach. I was grateful that you included the poison help number (1-800-222-1222) in your response. However, I want to clarify a small but increasingly important point: The National Capital Poison Center is actually only one of 60 poison centers across the U.S. that can be reached through that number.
If the woman who wrote called that number, she would have been connected to one of the centers within the California Poison Control System. As state budgets get tighter and tighter, identifying the poison center as a "national" system can actually undermine each center's importance at a time when many are arguing for their very existence. Thanks. — Jessica Wehrman, Communications Manager, American Association of Poison Control Centers, Alexandria, Va.
Dear Jessica Wehrman: Thanks for making sure our readers understand that the national toll-free number connects to various state poison control centers that serve their local communities. We need each and every one of them.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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